I cherish the sight of Vivi sleeping. It's a precious sight. A wonderful sight. Especially at night. However, during the last week or so it's become a very rare sight. I attribute these sleepless stints to growth spurts.
I love the image of my little one growing bigger and stronger, it's just that these same growth spurts seem to make me grow older and weaker. I start to sound like Roger Murtaugh and find myself muttering " I'm too old for this shit" multiple times throughout the day. I now have great respect for older parents. I had gotten spoiled by Vivi's two weeks of sleeping up to 7 hours a night. She now is back to eating close to every hour. Luckily, I have a very self sufficient 4 month old. While she isn't up fixing her own bottle, she is pretty good at scooting into position and latching on without either of us opening our eyes. Here is how the night feedings usually go.
I hear her start to fuss. I wait a few moments to see if she will be satisfied with her fingers or will blindly reach for her pacifier and hope to put it into the correct facial orifice ( I have opened my eyes to see why the pacifier isn't going in to find myself trying to maneuver it up her left nostril). If that fails, then she will start scooting towards me and I will do the same. I imagine that we both look seals scooting around on the rocks. Somehow we manage to line up perfectly and she eats while I try to stay somewhat awake without ever opening my eyes. I am guilty however of falling completely asleep and waking up again to find her still eating. And there are times where I have no memory of every waking up with her fussing, yet she has managed to find her way to me and start eating on her own.
Sometimes I will have one of those 30 second dreams that seem to last forever. Those dreams that seem like real life. In those dreams I have finished feeding her and put her back on her side of the bed, perhaps gone to the bathroom and then have gone back to sleep myself. But then I will wake up and see her still eating and be extremely confused for a few moments until I realize that I had indeed dreamed it all. Those dreams always remind me of the ones that I would have back in school after hitting the snooze button on the alarm clock. I would dream that I got out of bed, showered, dressed, ate and sometimes would be halfway through the school day before I would wake up and find myself still in bed. Though the worst just may be when you are asleep but have to pee. And you dream that you wake up and go to the bathroom and get back in bed. But for some reason in your dream you still feel like you have to pee. It is then that you realize that you are dreaming and still have to drag your butt out of bed.
But I digress. I feel as though Vivi is reaching the end of this current growth spurt for as I type this she has been sleeping for about 2 hours. I know there will be many more growth spurts to come and I will find myself muttering about being too old for this shit, but like Murtaugh still returned for Lethal Weapon 2,3 and 4, I know that I will make it through.
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