Pandora's Box...aka the box of prepregnancy clothes

I did it.

I promised myself that I would wait until I was sure they would fit.  But I did it anyway.   I opened the box.  This box contains all of my prepregnancy clothes that around 5 months into my pregnancy got packed away into a box not to be opened again for many many months.  But it has been brutally hot this week and I was going wedding dress shopping with my sister and wanted to wear something besides my maternity jeans.  So I went fishing for a skirt.  One skirt.  That was all I was supposed to pull out, but before I knew it all of my clothes were on the ground and I was trying them on one by one.  About halfway through I started mentally slapping myself for ever thinking that I was overweight before.  Oh my god, what I would give to fit back into those size 4 jeans and wear a t-shirt that said 'small'.  I swear that as I was about to try on some shirts I heard them say " seriously?  You really think this is going to work?"  and I know that I heard some pants whimper as I attempted to pull them up.  I know that I am going to find some clothes under my bed that tried to escape as they saw their fellow shirts and pants get pulled and stretched.

Throughout my pregnancy as I grew larger and larger I always joked with people about how much I was going to have to workout after giving birth and how long it was going to take me to lose the weight.  But secretly I thought that it was just going to slide off me.  That magically I was going to be able to fit back into those jeans without a problem maybe 2 months max postpartum. I pictured myself back in top running shape running along the beach with my new Baywatch sized boobs bouncing in slow motion.  Now, 3 months postpartum, if I were to squeeze into a red swimsuit and try running along the beach my stomach would be the body part bouncing and my boobs would just flop along and twiddle their nipples until it was time to feed Vivi again.  I'm young.  This was supposed to be easy.  It's not.  And exercising isn't really an option yet seeing as I have the bladder control of a 90 year old.  (If I wasn't portraying myself as a sexy mama before, I know that last sentence sure sold the image)

When I look at all of my friends who have just had kids in the last few years they all look stunning.  And then there are the friends who just had a baby a month ago and are back in size 0 pants.  All of these friends I love to death but also wouldn't mind stealing their bodies for the day and shoving them full of brownies and cheese puffs.

Instead of that however, I am going to just continue to go at my pace and hopefully things will work out.  I gained 70lbs during the pregnancy and have about 30lbs to go.  The deadline is my sister's wedding on January 1st.  And a word to any new moms out there who haven't lost all of the weight yet-don't try on bridesmaid dresses.  Especially if the maid of honor is 5'8" and very skinny.  Your self esteem does not need a blow like that.

But as in Pandora's Box there always is hope at the bottom.  Which for me is a skirt that I can zip up.  It doesn't look very happy on me, but I zipped it up and that is all the hope I need.